There have been too many events thrown at me this month and I have to say, I couldn’t be happier that November 13’ is about to disappear into history. I went from collapsing to pulling myself together… all in a few weeks.
I spent the first week of this month at home, waiting for death to spare me. Okay, it turns okay that one high fever, a few collapses, weakness and feeling too cold and too hot at once doesn’t mean you should start writing a will, but I still felt miserable and returning to my classes and courses and what not afterwards didn’t do me any justice either.
Apparently, I missed a lot of work and needed to get a bunch of designs out of me in a week. I eventually did it, but being behind made me feel like shit for a while and I nearly slipped into one of those ‘artistic crisis”. Oh you remember the last one, I dropped architecture because of it. Lucky, I got over this one before it really started
As if that wasn’t enough, I promised a kavárna in Prague that I’d make them a few glass pieces, I promised two designers I’d help them with a optical glass piece for a store in Prague AND I promised a friend I’d cut him a piece of glass for his door. I think this is what they mean by biting off more than you can chew.
( Just a little addition: I’ve decided to really learn how to blow glass, that means a lot of hours near the furnace, that means a lot of burns, because I still don’t know what I am doing, which means I’ve been dealing with said shit above with burnt hands and it’s been terrific…)
Now, this is the part of the post where it gets better. The fever is gone, the designs are done, the helping of people is nearly done and my hands have recovered. I have to say, that the one small weekend in Prague I managed to afford really helped, because that city is full of awesome people, who make you forget about your problems and I wish I’d get to see them more often.
I still have too much to do, and the days are still too short (yet not short enough for me to write on Tumblr, what a hypocrite I am I know) but I got it back together again and it feels great! Look forward to my next tale of panic and anxiety in December
PS: Oh right, I forgot to say, I might have destroyed my computer by dropping it and I might be in denial about it actually happening. I also might cry about this when I stop refusing the truth.
"I’ve been to places, that have made me feel like I’ve stood on top of the world, but all I could think of is how small I am"
A phone call woke me up yesterday morning. Okay, it wasn’t morning, but around noon. Either way I didn’t recognize the number and picked it up trying to hide any sense of disorientation from my voice. Wait, what’s your name, oh, right, I left my number at your coffee shop, right, yeah, I can fix your glassware, ah, sunday.
Right, that means I need to get to Prague to pick up these two awkwardly shaped pieces of glass and get them back up North without breaking them. Right! E and L needed to switch days with me at Designblok, that means I need to go to Prague to give them the bracelets that’ll get them through security. Wait what, design week, Prague and people asking me for help? Okay, calm down. Get on the next link to Prague. Wait, take that book with you.
Okay, call E that you made it to Prague. Shit! I forgot the bracelets at home. Okay, call E to tell here that you’re an idiot and ask her what to do now. Right, you’ll be driving through my town on your way home tomorrow night, I can just give them to you then. Okay! I guess you should go to the coffee shop since you don’t have anything else to do. Hello, I got a call this morning, right, lovely to meet you Eva, are these the two, no it’s not a problem, I’ll pick them up on Sunday. Now call V, tell him you’re in Prague, ask where and when V wants to meet up. No quick reply. Right, walk to the bridge to say hello to K, she’s been selling hair pins, she’s handling it despite the fact she doesn’t speak English, great, but I tell her she should smile more at the tourists.
Now you’re hungry and you’re still carrying your book in your hand, because you don’t have a bag to put it in. Right, text message from V, meet up at JZP in twenty. Don’t take the metro, walk there from Náměstí republiky. Hey, can’t complain, what about you, I’d be up for dinner if you don’t mind, what’s your friend’s name, M, hello M.
The beginning of a long night, dinner, shit, more than I’d like to pay for a meal, but why not, get two small beers, you don’t want to get drunk or spend too much money. M seems interesting, the conversation isn’t boring or slow. Quick stop at L’s where we run into M and D, before we head down to the river for more drinks.
A drunk stranger is getting annoying, yes, break ups are difficult, yeah, you’ll find another girlfriend, I have to go… Meet way too many initials, but have a great night, turns out M is interesting, we leave at 4:00 AM, get pizza before we sleep, you’ve only drank three small ones tonight. Pilsen in less than six hours.
Ah, morning already, let’s run to main station, catch a train to Pilsen, beer festival with V, A, C, H and another initial I am not sure about. Unfiltered beer and meat, cabbage and dumblings, that’s all though, because it’s your brothers birthday, I have to get home, sleep in the train, one moment you’re out of the city the next moment you’re in again. I still have my book.
Wait, get the glass now, I don’t want to go to Prague tomorrow again. Hello Eva, thank you, do you have a bag, thanks. Try not to bump into too many people in the metro. Don’t drop it, don’t freak out, it’ll be fine, it’ll be fine. Now, you’re in Holešovice, not running for the six o’clock home, but you catch it anyway, just in time. Awkwardly sit with the glassware. Don’t break it, don’t break it.
I made it, now, just find the bracelet and wait for E to get here. Where is the bracelet. It must be here, not under there, not behind that, where is it. Right, all of the furniture is in a different place than the last time I saw it. Oh, there it is. Now, wish your brother a happy birthday, run down the stairs to give E the bracelet, run back up the stairs to get home. I haven’t read a single page of the book.
Ode to my teenage years
September swept August off of the table, like the morning does to a dream, and with its beginning brought the last straw of my teenage years, another year of college and long downpour. As you might be able to imagine this leaves me with a lot on my mind.
I celebrated the entry into my third decade with a long weekend in the golden city herself. Expectations with friends A and B turned into near realization with friend C or D and ended with a night out with a friend from my short attempt at becoming an architect. We did a lot of walking from one enstablishment to the other and she learned that wearing high heels in Prague is comparable with medieval torture.
The next morning, after my friend let me sleep at place in one of those garden and villa areas of the city we sat in the before noon sunshine drinking tea and talking about how we both don’t really have a clue what we’re doing, but that for now isnt a terrible issue. We said our goodbyes before my friend started to get ready for work and I made my way back into the heart of the capital.
This left me with a slight pounding in my head and a dead phone without a charger. Not that I’d mind under usual circumstances, but the whole day should’ve been about friend F, who’s number I didnt have either. I ended up buying an awkwardly large white phone charger, sat myself in the nearest store with breakfast, near the first electricity outlet I found and contacted friend F through facebook.
Let me tell you about friend F, because I haven’t seen this friend in a year and I am quite fond of friend F. We decided to meet under the horse in front of Museum and when we saw each other I smiled like a fool and handed friend F a flower I bought spontaneously out of joy. We proceeded to visit a lot of the places we used to go to, catched up on what’s happened in the months we’ve lived on different continents and then just sat in a number of spots with great views of Praha and talked about everything and anything.
I finally found my way home the next day, where I packed for a week long painting course. My last day as a teenagel turned a bit sour, because of the usual harmless dose of drama I find waiting for me at home displeased me, but a few happy birthdays from the right people pushed emotions and moods into their right place.
The course showered us with many reason to deem it miserable. When you add the endless rain to a week without showers, heating, money and minimal amounts of food you get the right ingredients for chaos. However, I found a sense of happiness during my week with soaked shoes and the smell of smoke in all of my clothing. Mushroom pickings fought off hunger, the wine and stories our teachers shared with us kept us warm and learning how to paint held spirits high.
I tend to worry about getting older, I question my accomplishments with every passing year and wonder if the direction I walk leads to anything worthwhile at all, but this year instead of experiencing that small sense of panic about ‘tomorrow’ I feel at peace with myself. This year, tomorrow seems bright, despite the weather forecast that promises rain